On Saying Please

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Alpha of the Plough

On Saying Please

Q. No. 1:         Why do we call bad manners infections?

            This essay has been written by Alfred George Gardiner whose pen name was "Alpha of the Plough".  He was a journalist, biographer and essayist.  He was an ardent social reformer.

            In the present essay he throws light on the importance of good manners.  He urges us to be civil and spread civility around us.  Similarly we should avoid bad manners because bad manners spread very quickly.  We can call bad manners infections because every action has a reaction.  A good act will get a good reaction and a bad action will surely produce a bad reaction.  If we deal with people in a good way, naturally they will adopt the same course and will be civil but if we are hostile to some one, he is bound to be uncivil and hostile to us.  We can see it in our day-to-day life that the people behaving in a bad way always incur a bad and unpleasant aura around them.

 The individual is the unit of society and if the unit is going wayward the whole society will be doomed to disturbance. The writer gives an example.  In a city office a customer asked the liftman to take him to "top" but the liftman demanded, "top Please".  This gave rise to a serious brawl and liftman threw the customer out of his lift.  The writer conceives that the customer behaved rudely because his employer did not greet him and the employer was uncivil because he had been hen-pecked by his wife to whom the cook had been insolent because the housemaid had answered the cook back.  On the other hand the liftman, who was not allowed to express his anger, would go home and beat his wife to restore the equilibrium.

            This shows how quickly the bad manners are transferred from one person to another.  Bad manners and rudeness spread sooner than any virus and are more fatal to the civilization and society.

Q. No. 2:         Is there any law against the bad manners?

            We have many laws that can protect us against material losses.  For example if we are attacked physically or if our property is damaged, we can retaliate with the same amount of wrath and the law will protect us.  If we do not avenge ourselves the law will give us redress.  This is because the material loss is a solid phenomenon while the hurt pride is an abstract thing.  Loss of material can be proved but the loss of self-respect and vanity cannot be proved. Moreover, the concept of being hurt intellectually, changes from person to person.  Some people are more tolerant but some are less.  At times we become so much hostile and prejudiced about some people that we always view their actions negatively and we, ourselves, become uncivil to them.  So it can be almost impossible for any law court to judge such cases.

            Although there is no law against bad manners but there are very strong social traditions that compel us to be tolerant, polite and humane.  Laws can never make us civil.  It is the voice of humanity inside and out side us that makes us behave unlike the brutal animals or the residents of jungle.

            There is liberty of expression in almost all the societies of the world and there are certain limitations levied on this liberty by a man's conscience.  As it is our self-respect that makes us respect the "self" of others.

            So, no law can be feasible for keeping us civil and humane, only the tradition and humanity can ask us to do so.

Q. No. 3:         Draw a character sketch of the polite conductor?

            The writer has featured a very impressive character in order to stress the need of civility and good manners in our daily social life.  This character was a bus conductor who impressed the writer with his pleasant personality and helpful manners.  The writer noticed him when, once, he boarded a bus without any money in his pocket.  This was a very trying situation for him because in this situation no one believes that the money has been accidentally misplaced.  Common people and specially the conductors think that the person is trying to cheat.  The writer searched his pockets thoroughly and declared that he would have to alight from the bus.  He was ready for any kind of reaction but quite unexpectedly the conductor behaved generously and politely.  He offered to take him to his destination even without any money.  The writer was very impressed.  Though later the writer could square his account with a stray coin present in his pocket but such a nice act gave him a serene pleasure and satisfaction.

            On second occasion the writer met the same conductor when he heavily trampled writer’s toe but he apologized in such a humble and nice way that writer assured him that he had not hurt him at all.  This reaction was only due to his polite ways.  This proves that every action has a reaction equal in strength. The writer says that he is not ashamed of writing a panegyric to an unknown bus conductor because the wisdom of life can be achieved from anywhere.  No one is low or high it is their manners that divide human beings in low or high level.

           

Q. No. 4:         Why should a person be civil?

            A person should be civil in his dealings with others.  "Man is a social animal" and if he does not respect the society and its values he is just an animal.  All the societies in the world have their own specific set of values.  No society allows its members to have bad manners or to express their annoyance openly.  Societies devise some civilized ways to give vent to any resentment.

            The peaceful coexistence of the individuals in a society is only possible through courtesy and good manners.  In a society, people have to indulge in continuous give and take that is possible only through acknowledging the services of other people.  If we start ordering, like a superior, no body will cordially listen to us.  But if we ask something in a polite manner, no one will refuse us. Our religion, Islam also teachers us to be civil, The Holy Prophet (Peace be upon him) said, "The best amongst you is one, who has good manners”.                                                 

            We should adopt the ways of courtesy and civility to spread smiles on faces of all those who live around us. 

Q. No. 5:         How can good manners affect our social life?

            Alpha of the plough attempts to stress on the need of having good manners in life.  He asserts that we should behave in a polite and gentle way.  We should not hurt any body and should not lose our temper because these things cast a deep impact on our general life.

            The writer presents an incident from a city office where a liftman threw out a person who insulted him by treating him as a social inferior.  The person demanded "top". The liftman asked for “top please”.  It led to a fierce quarrel.  It was only a question of "please".  The liftman was punished for his violent behaviour.  It happened because the law doesn’t recognize the damage to our feelings but if we experience a material or physical loss the law can protect us.  The liftman was punished because he broke a definite command of law by hitting the customer.  We may sympathize with the liftman whose feelings were hurt but we will have to admit that the law is quite reasonable.

            The bad manners are subjective.  Their effects change from person to person.  Sometimes even a light comment or action can hurt a man.  It depends on our mental state at that time.  If we are already hurt or disturbed then any thing can provoke us.  As was the case with the man who did not say "please" to the liftman.  He was rude because his employer had misbehaved with him.  The employer did so because he had been hen-pecked by his wife and his wife was angry because the cook had been insolent, as the housemaid had answered back to the cook.  This shows how quickly the bad manners start a chain reaction of penetrating in the social life.

            All the religions have preached in favour of good manners but neither any religion nor any constitution has ever tried to legislate against bad manners.

            In writer's view "Please", "thank you” and "sorry" are the little courtesies by which we keep the machine of life oiled and running sweetly.  They produce an atmosphere of cordiality and good will.  The writer pleads us to restore these manners and behaviours so that the society can become a safe and pleasant place to live in.

Q. No. 6:         What is the theme of this essay?     

            "On saying please" is an apt commentary on the mannerism of people in the society.  The writer wants people to be civil and courteous.  The world is a place where, we have to live with a lot of different people who have different attitudes, different manners, traditions and mentalities.  They behave in different ways but we have to put up with them so that the life can smoothly go on.  If we do not adopt good manners, we will poison the whole atmosphere and spoil the stream of life.

            Moreover the writer wants to tell us that there is no law that can compel people, to have good manners.  No law can force people to be well mannered.  But the civilization, culture and tradition of all good nations enjoin a man to be civil and tolerant.  So people should have good manners to make their lives easier and more pleasant.